You've Changed... They haven't

As you go through your own personal changes, mature emotionally and begin processing how you feel better and defining who it is that you "really" are or want to be... there are things that you're going to start noticing about the people around you that may catch you by surprise.

As an example, maybe your group of friends were great before you began to examine your life then later on after you've put all this time and work into who YOU are... you recognize how negative those friendships really were/are for you.

Say you have a group of friends who are consistently complaining and blaming everyone else for everything and anything possible. It's not uncommon ... personal accountability can be lacking in many areas of a persons life.

You've started to recognize how what you do, or what you don't do affects other areas of your life, so you start taking responsibility for your contributions or lack thereof, to a situation... Things start shifting for the better! You now have a clearer perspective and view of what you would like to change and you begin to impliment these changes.

You go to share these things with the group of people who you've been comiserating with all these years and they... don't understand. They're still inadvertently roping you into drama, issues, pointing fingers at someone else for their troubles, instead of recognizing, as you have ... that personal accountability does not mean that everything is our fault... it's more about taking steps to recognize what does or does not work "for them" and learning how to start doing things differently.

So what happens? They say YOU'VE changed and they can't talk to you anymore... because you don't understand like you used to!

Eventually those people are going to fall off and out of your life. They're still stuck...

You've decided to make your life better ... you've started to invest in yourself and what you want, and they can't seem to see the bigger picture of making these changes.

The truth is that you've developed a healthier mindset and lifestyle and they haven't seen the value of this yet.

Which is a shame because you now know, how much happier they could be, if they began to take note of themselves and their own contributions to the problems they are having.

How many of you have made changes in your life for the better and found old friendships began to drop off ?

How many have made changes and started to recognize how a particular group of people tend to suck the life out of you? Whereas other newer interests and groups of people make you feel supported and really good about yourself?

How many wish that they could bop their old friends over the head and get them to truly see how much better things would be, "if only".

How many of you understand that it took YOU this long to change and you have to be patient with them? Course... they have to see it and until they begin to understand that doing things differently, that you can't do anything really except by example.

Any time you begin to make changes for the better, the other people in your life or group are going to resist. Unless they've beat you to it and YOU were the person resistant :) ...

You can't beat them over the head and make them come with you.

They have to be ready. Just like you...

In the meantime, you can try to be supportive of them, but not at your personal expense of going backwards.

If you've changed, you'll find so does your circle of friends. You're going to WANT people around you who make you feel good, supported, validated and understood. Who are going to help you to think things through better, to make changes that help you to get what you personally want in your life ...

We, sadly, at times... begin to see the negative affects that the old group had on us and we start shying away from that group. And for good reason... we just do not feel good anymore being around them.

It never means that we're "better" than the other person. Heck at some point, we WERE that person.

It means that we are striving to be better as an individual ... and that's okay.

It means that sometimes we have to let old relationships go... especially when being around them, makes us feel bad.

Sure there's remorse that comes with this... I don't know a person on earth who doesn't have mixed feelings with letting go of a friendship or a person who makes them feel bad ... At the same time, if you truly WANT your life to change and be better... sometimes you have to let these people go... at least for a while.

Maybe you're changing will help them to recognize that they are not as stuck as they thought... but, again, they have to see it...

It may take years... they may not grasp what you're doing... That's just frustrating. Course, I know for a fact that I've frustrated many people along my journey, that's for sure! :)

My point, as I go on here, is ... dont allow another individual's fear or lack of self awareness to make you stay the same. Or to make you think that there's something wrong with you for wanting something better or more in your life.

You need to do, for yourself, what you need to do for yourself... it's important to recognize this.

It's either that... or leaving things as they are. That's not working for you... and I wouldn't want to see anyone not do something because someone else was resistant to it.

You've got enough resistance :) of your own to contend with.

Do it anyway... take the time to pay attention to yourself and see what you want. Start doing it... You may lose some people who drag you backwards... what you gain, is less negative energy and thoughts from them. You don't need that baggage anymore. Do you?

It's your turn to decide that you would like your life to be different...

Don't inadvertently allow negative people around you to stop you.

That would be a shame... truly.