Breast Implants - The Alternative

You know, there is so much talk about breast implants and there are women out there who feel like if they have implants it'll make them feel better, look better, improve their confidence etc.,

And some of them, get them and they are as happy as a clam. And that's okay if that's what it takes ... I mean, the choice is theirs, that's fine right?

I can't help but wonder though... as I compiled the list you are going to see ... if it's really necessary ... The following are all women who have smaller breasts ... and I'm not sure who may have teased women who have smaller breasts or what perception they got about women who have bigger breasts that they need to enhance their own ... however, that being said...

It would be a damned shame for someone to tease a young girl or make her feel badly about her breast size ... I never worreid about that ... And neither have these people ... ready?

Sara Jessica Parker (I'm pretty sure she does not have large breasts)
Nicole Kidman
Gwyneth Paltrow
Cameron Diaz
Debra Messing
Anne Hathoway
Michelle Pheifer
Charlize ... theron? (the actress from S. Africa? Anyone know her correct spelling of her name because I couldn't remember)
Kate Boswoth
Hillary Duff
Nicole Richie
Paris Hilton
Jody Foster

I think that's enough... I'm putting this up here because while I realize that there are all kinds of perceptions women get about breast sizes and what's attractive and what's not... if you were EVER teased or felt small (no pun intended) due to someone teasing you or not having developed as you thought you may have wanted to?

I'd REALLY like you to take a look at this list I've made above ... because none of these women have large breasts.

And they're okay ... this is one of those irrational beliefs I feel that women carry around with them due to the things they've heard and seen or that were said about them over the years...

And you know whut? None of them have to be true unless YOU buy into it...

You see?

And I tell ya! Women who do have large breasts, were teased too! Course, some are bombshell's today like Pamela Anderson but her breasts are enhanced too. She wasn't that large on Tool Time years ago.

So not the point I'm trying to make here)

You are perfect just the way you are... okay?

Classy or Trashy?

As a companion post to this last one I just put up, I wrote this one a long time ago, as it pertains to how women view what sexy is... or isn't for that matter. Enjoy :)

Who would you like to be today? Classy or trashy ...

Now yah :) I found a guy swinging around a pole ... haha! BUT ... it's a location thing. (not porn or anything like objectionable just fun stuff) ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVHJKqvuLWc&feature=related

Then I found this one with Beyonce and Christina Aguilera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95RIacdGBXg&NR=1

Sexy women, playing, dancing, entertaining ... but trashy?

Suggestive ... yah, but try to disrespect them. I dare you... there is a big difference between THIS and the location ... and real life and walking around posing like ... heck playboy has more sexy photo's then I've seen some people put photo's up.

Where's the middle ground ladies? Guys?

Self respect right?

Confidence?

Being who you want to be?

Not allowing someone in your personal space unless invited?

Not buying into the fact that there's so much misinformation out there as to what's important?

Come on now...

Distinction in what I'm showing you and how some perceive it is that no one's touching either one of these women w/o being invited ...

I'd take a wild stab in the dark but I'll bet you that neither one of these women would tolerate BAD attention...

What Kind of Attention Do You Want?

I've been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now. While I'm waiting for my clothes to dry in the dryer I'll see if I can formulate my thoughts on the topic of attention.

Attention, to me, is a double edged sword. We all want attention... we can get attention at any time.

But... what kind of attention is it that people want?

Hmmm?

We can talk about all kinds of attention, but for now I'd like to talk about the attention a young girl seems to think they're supposed to get from the opposite sex.

Okay?

I was recently browsing this young girls page and ... I saw that she had some pretty sexy pictures of herself on her page. They're about ... 18/19 years old. (I forget exactly) and the pictures are all sexy and ... man, I about swallowed my head. Literally...

I thought ... didn't I dress sexy and kid around when I was younger? Yah ... for me I didn't realize what kind of attention that would attract.

Young ladies today have this impression, and so do some older women, that sexy is where it's at. No wonder though, because it's all around us. We can't deny that.

But, what kind of attention is that getting younger more naive young ladies? I stress over this because I have a daughter... who I'm trying to "teach" about attention and what kind, and what it brings to the table.

I never accepted rude attention from people (men/guys/boys) at the same time ... I'd get it, but ... it never occurred to me the backlash certain types of attention "could" have on an individual if they weren't emotionally prepared for it.

Like, a young girl these days ... not all... some, dress sexy and they get attention and everything. Okay, that's fine but what about the girls who think that this is "the only" kind of attention?

Guys thinking they're hot, or sexy, not viewing them as a "person" but an object, if you get my drift.

I can put up, and I have, video's of famous singers who are very sexy... what's missing out of those video's is that, there's a line they draw, I'm sure... in their every day life with those around them.

As to what is appropriate behavior, what is appropriate personal space, appropriate touching, appropriate responses to certain kinds of attention.

But, young ladies are taking this to the extreme. They begin basing being sexy on "this is the only kind of attention to get" because "look at me, I'm hot!" ...

I think that's not the best kind of attention to get. It leads to other things.

And we don't worry about people who "get" that it's only dressing up or dancing.

We/I worry about the people who read into these things, who take advantage of a young lady for being so expressive.

Ladies like attention. Ladies of all ages like attention. Why not? It feels good. I remember a guy friend of mine complimented my eyes last summer. :) Man... I giggled like a hyena. Yes, I really did... LOL ... all blushing and acting like a school girl. I was adorable LOL ... if not really silly. That's how I am... because I know that if someone crosses a certain line with me, that's going to be addressed.

BUT ... at the same time, no boundaries were crossed, the intentions of the person who said it were not under speculation and I know them.

What about when women are starved for attention? What about when young girls think that this is the only way to be liked or viewed?

I've dressed up sexy, so many times, I don't have enough fingers and toes. The way I carry myself, and the way I respond to people and who I am... is all about setting boundaries, deflecting bad behaviors from others, about respect and disrespect and not tolerating certain types of attention. Even when I was younger, like this young girls page I saw ... I still had that ... uh, I guess you could say attitude of "can't touch this" but I like to dress up.

People/young ladies/women can become confused as to the type of attention they're getting when they act sexy or dress up.

The type of attention they should be getting, may be way off from the type of attention that they "are" getting. Sexual attention is flattering. Sure it is... who doesn't want someone attracted to them?

I submit though, that there's more to a young lady/woman than just sexual attraction.

The best kind of attention, to me, is having a person like me ... not because I'm sexy or attractive ... although I respect that this can come first, and for me too. They should take the time to get to know me, hang out, enjoy each others company, see if past the sexy, the attraction, and all that superficial stuff ... if we really like each other.

I think this is such an important aspect of being a young lady. And there are still plenty women out there who believe that, as they get older that this attraction, through being sexy ... is all there is the rest will follow. It's not true ...

Anyone can have sex. Anyone can look sexy, dress sexy, talk sexy ... but after that, what's left?

It's also part of, in my humble opinion, a part of why some older women fall into the pattern of thinking that attraction is more important then getting to know a man. Why they are afraid to tell a man "no" who approaches them and it turns out to be only for sex. So they go through one person after the other, never truly liking a guy, because they haven't considered ... doing anything differently or they never realized that there was another way.

Let's face it, sexy commercials and video's have been around a hellofa long time now. It's not that difficult to see how women could develope this belief.

I submit, that young ladies "can" be sexy and cute. So can older women, BUT in the long run, you decide what kind of attention is acceptable to you, what you are going to set a boundary with guys about, what you are putting out there, you're going to get.

I think, most women want to be cherished and appreciated for "who they are" ... I think, we forget to teach this at an early age and these misconceptions spread from one generation to the other.

Sexy's nice... but what kind of attention do you want?

You see?

After the relationship is over ...

How is it that people in a relationship, know what the problems are in their relationships, but ... they still resist doing what their partner is requesting (providing it's a nice healthy relationship based on mutuality, compromise etc., and not an abusive relationship, again! gotta put this in here!) "even though" they know if they make an adjustment, that things could inevitably get better.

Then, after the couple breaks up, the other person, almost always and I've seen this happen... Makes those changes in their next relationship, for the better! AGH!

Gack! What is THAT all about?

This phenomenon never ceased to amaze me. Because I've had ex's who've done almost "exactly" what I'd said I had a problem with in their next relationship. Can ya just "stand it!"

I have a theory. Our closest relationships growning up was a parent. That, is a type of intimate relationship. Right?

Sure it is.

So, we take those "blocks" if you will, or old patterns of relating to someone "with us" (as you know or may not know) into our personal relationships.

Right?

Sure.

We resist anyone "telling" us what to do, because we're not children anymore, yet the thing that we're missing when we "ask" for something is to "ask" and be clear on what we need.

And the thing is, we need to let our significant other know this as well. "To ask" not "TELL" is really important, to "suggest" not "demand" is very important...

I mean, you are an adult now, yes?

Sure. :)

So you have the ability to design how your relationships, as an adult are. You have the ability to decide what you want in your relationships and then to work towards that goal of a happier healthier relationship.

And this goes both ways too... for saying so's sake.

Something, that to me, goes neck'n'neck with this, is how we can run into an ex ... right? And sit down and go through memory lane with them, and little by little, time permitting ... talk out everything that bothered us "at that time" ... and walk away with that feeling or sense of closure.

Right?

Sure.

But, see... now here's the thing.

We're so busy "fighting" in the relationship to be "heard" that we barracade ourselves from being hurt by our partner, by not truly listening to what they're saying, NOR being clear on what WE ourselves wanted in the first place!

So since we're busy not wanting to get hurt, when the emotional end of things wear off and fear isn't as prevalent, it's "then" that we feel safe to discuss these things.

AFTER the break up.

Now, :) I've done this myself so, I can say that this is ass backwards folks.

So the thing is,

Being clear on what we'd like and need.

Being able to express it to our partner.

Realizing that our partner "is not our parent" and someone to fight to be an individual with, but to grow with and to learn to share. You are not your parents, nor do you have to fight with your partner to prove it, :)

Give yourself time to cool off and reflect what it is that you'd like to express to your partner. Then make time to talk about it after you've become clear on what it is that bothered you.

Learn to ask, suggest, and be open to not only YOUR concerns and fears but theirs as well.

Learn how to listen. :) Because that's just as important.

Learn how to make it safe for the two of you to open up to one another, by listening first (sometimes we have to do that FIRST before being heard).

Learn how to say, I'm sorry.

Identify and pay attention to YOUR patterns of relating to someone so that you can change. Yesssssssss, you do have to change as well.

Why would you toss a perfectly good relationship, by being stubborn?

Hmmmm? Why wait till it's over to do the things that will enhance your relationship?

Now, I'm not talking about things you're dead set against, or that you may find goes against everything you believe in, and everyone's relationship is different, but can you just imagine how many relationships go right down the sh*tter just because people are stubborn?

Because they wait until years after they've broken up for closure and to truly express how they felt at the time? As opposed to expressing it at the time?

And no blame games please.

Think about what you want. Be clear. Don't send mixed messages to your partner. THAT isn't going to help anybody.

I also know that when you're starting a relationship you need to pay attention to what kind of person you're dealing with.

Instead of falling prey to that "attraction" in the beginning. Attraction is always going to be there ... but "who" that person is, taking the time to see if you are interested in them as a person (which by the way, makes sex better) is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.