A small lesson in change.
Here’s my thought. I want you to recognize that you have the power to change anything in your life that you put your mind to. How? By being consciously aware that’s how.
I’d like to give you an exercise to do.
Take one thing that is normally in a set place and move it to another location. Like your tooth brush, the dish soap or your towels moved from one shelf to the other.
For a couple weeks or up to one month, leave that item in its new place. Initially you may remember where that item is, however due to being conditioned to look in a specific place you’re going to find that over time your subconscious mind will reach for that item in its "old" spot.
Why? Because you have been conditioned to do so. Based on habits and/or patterns of behavior that you have developed.
Over time you will see that, you will no longer reach in the old spot for the item but automatically go to the new one. However you will go back occassionally to the old spot, scratching your head and wondering where it went, until of course you remember.
What I’m saying here is that YOU can change ANY habit by being more consciously aware. You can change life patterns, bad habits, develop new habits … as long as you are consciously aware and make a "thinking" effort to do so.
We all know about the things in life that we do that are patterns of behaviors, we just may not be aware of how seriously they affect us in our every day lives.
So, what am I saying?
1. Define what it is that you want to change.
2. Make a conscious "thinking" effort to decide what you want to change.
3. Pay attention to yourself and the cycles that you have and stop yourself from continuing them.
How long does this take? As with anything new that is learned, it can be in an instant or it can take repetition. It depends on how bad you want it, how much effort you put into it and more importantly how aware you are of yourself and your actions.
I want to add here that you will find that just like with that item that you moved from one place to the other, once in a while your old habits will sneak back up on you and you will be pulled to go back to the old ways of thinking and doing.
Your best bet to over come these times is to remind yourself that you have a choice. Believe in what you want and what you want to do.
If it helps tell those who would be supportive of you what you are trying to change in your life to reinforce your determination.
I’ll be here. Write and let me know how it works out.
Sue Tosto
Life and Relationship Coach
(413) 793-7981
Confidence is Silent. It doesn’t defend itself.
It simply exists inside of you.
www.dsisuet.com
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4 comments:
Very nice post, and an interesting psychological study. Of course, one has to "want" to change, otherwise it's useless even trying. At least that's how I see it, wasted energy.
Sure a person has to want the change and see the benefits of it. Sometimes though, I think that thinking about the consequences of changes we can make in the here and now, which directly relate to our future is very important to our future. Go ahead :) Move something to a different place. Tell me what happens...
See, it's about developing new habits and until it becomes part of your day, or if it pertains to behaviors ... when it becomes part of who we "are" as an individual... we still may backslide.
Another really good example of things that can be ingrained, where the subconscious mind takes over is when we drive a car. Ever drive some where and you're thinking about something else? Yet... you still arrive at your destination.
That is a pretty convincing proof that reveals itself how pre-conditioning can work. AND further how we can learn to use that as well.
I don't think it's necessarily wasted energy if the person applies themself. I do think that people may want change but don't have the support systems or continued motivation due to not acheiving results as quickly as they would want them. Kind of like the thought process of instant gratification. They can't see the value in the changes becuase they've been trying and it hasn't happened in the way that they expected it to.
Which could lead us to a discussion about expectations too.
I posted twice in my own blog. Oops!
The other thing too is that sometimes while we're changing certain behaviors we are also changing certain beliefs as well. Some emotions come into play that we may have to contend with... This happens as well.
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