What Kind of Attention Do You Want?

I've been wanting to write about this topic for quite some time now. While I'm waiting for my clothes to dry in the dryer I'll see if I can formulate my thoughts on the topic of attention.

Attention, to me, is a double edged sword. We all want attention... we can get attention at any time.

But... what kind of attention is it that people want?

Hmmm?

We can talk about all kinds of attention, but for now I'd like to talk about the attention a young girl seems to think they're supposed to get from the opposite sex.

Okay?

I was recently browsing this young girls page and ... I saw that she had some pretty sexy pictures of herself on her page. They're about ... 18/19 years old. (I forget exactly) and the pictures are all sexy and ... man, I about swallowed my head. Literally...

I thought ... didn't I dress sexy and kid around when I was younger? Yah ... for me I didn't realize what kind of attention that would attract.

Young ladies today have this impression, and so do some older women, that sexy is where it's at. No wonder though, because it's all around us. We can't deny that.

But, what kind of attention is that getting younger more naive young ladies? I stress over this because I have a daughter... who I'm trying to "teach" about attention and what kind, and what it brings to the table.

I never accepted rude attention from people (men/guys/boys) at the same time ... I'd get it, but ... it never occurred to me the backlash certain types of attention "could" have on an individual if they weren't emotionally prepared for it.

Like, a young girl these days ... not all... some, dress sexy and they get attention and everything. Okay, that's fine but what about the girls who think that this is "the only" kind of attention?

Guys thinking they're hot, or sexy, not viewing them as a "person" but an object, if you get my drift.

I can put up, and I have, video's of famous singers who are very sexy... what's missing out of those video's is that, there's a line they draw, I'm sure... in their every day life with those around them.

As to what is appropriate behavior, what is appropriate personal space, appropriate touching, appropriate responses to certain kinds of attention.

But, young ladies are taking this to the extreme. They begin basing being sexy on "this is the only kind of attention to get" because "look at me, I'm hot!" ...

I think that's not the best kind of attention to get. It leads to other things.

And we don't worry about people who "get" that it's only dressing up or dancing.

We/I worry about the people who read into these things, who take advantage of a young lady for being so expressive.

Ladies like attention. Ladies of all ages like attention. Why not? It feels good. I remember a guy friend of mine complimented my eyes last summer. :) Man... I giggled like a hyena. Yes, I really did... LOL ... all blushing and acting like a school girl. I was adorable LOL ... if not really silly. That's how I am... because I know that if someone crosses a certain line with me, that's going to be addressed.

BUT ... at the same time, no boundaries were crossed, the intentions of the person who said it were not under speculation and I know them.

What about when women are starved for attention? What about when young girls think that this is the only way to be liked or viewed?

I've dressed up sexy, so many times, I don't have enough fingers and toes. The way I carry myself, and the way I respond to people and who I am... is all about setting boundaries, deflecting bad behaviors from others, about respect and disrespect and not tolerating certain types of attention. Even when I was younger, like this young girls page I saw ... I still had that ... uh, I guess you could say attitude of "can't touch this" but I like to dress up.

People/young ladies/women can become confused as to the type of attention they're getting when they act sexy or dress up.

The type of attention they should be getting, may be way off from the type of attention that they "are" getting. Sexual attention is flattering. Sure it is... who doesn't want someone attracted to them?

I submit though, that there's more to a young lady/woman than just sexual attraction.

The best kind of attention, to me, is having a person like me ... not because I'm sexy or attractive ... although I respect that this can come first, and for me too. They should take the time to get to know me, hang out, enjoy each others company, see if past the sexy, the attraction, and all that superficial stuff ... if we really like each other.

I think this is such an important aspect of being a young lady. And there are still plenty women out there who believe that, as they get older that this attraction, through being sexy ... is all there is the rest will follow. It's not true ...

Anyone can have sex. Anyone can look sexy, dress sexy, talk sexy ... but after that, what's left?

It's also part of, in my humble opinion, a part of why some older women fall into the pattern of thinking that attraction is more important then getting to know a man. Why they are afraid to tell a man "no" who approaches them and it turns out to be only for sex. So they go through one person after the other, never truly liking a guy, because they haven't considered ... doing anything differently or they never realized that there was another way.

Let's face it, sexy commercials and video's have been around a hellofa long time now. It's not that difficult to see how women could develope this belief.

I submit, that young ladies "can" be sexy and cute. So can older women, BUT in the long run, you decide what kind of attention is acceptable to you, what you are going to set a boundary with guys about, what you are putting out there, you're going to get.

I think, most women want to be cherished and appreciated for "who they are" ... I think, we forget to teach this at an early age and these misconceptions spread from one generation to the other.

Sexy's nice... but what kind of attention do you want?

You see?