Reading Into Things

Do you read into every little thing people say around you?

Turn everything into the worst case scenario, allow paranoia to take over your mind and your insecurities to run rampant?

If this sounds even vaguely familiar, maybe it's time to take a step back and pay attention to why you're reacting this way.

Maybe you feel you have a right to feel so suspicious. After all anyone would understand what you've been through and how it hurt you. However, the idea is that while you may be protecting yourself from the possibility of being hurt, this self protective mechanism is going to drive people away.

I remember a woman a number of years back who dated a guy who did the above here. Initially, she thought nothing of it, felt perhaps it was a matter of time before he learned to trust her. She ignored the warning signs of someone who was massively insecure and went about her business.

Until of course he became too much "work". Always questioning where she was, what she was doing, constantly testing and picking at her. After a while, she recognized that all of these things really didn't have anything to do with her, but more to do with his life experiences and his lack of trust in a relationship. They finally broke up over these things.

It's not only men who behave in this manner either. There are plenty of women out there who are afraid of getting hurt and hyper vigilant over their significant other and everything that they do. Never appearing happy, always complaining, sifting through things in their minds and giving them other meanings. Literally blowing things out of proportion.

While I can understand people's fears, at the same time, there comes a time where a person who feels the need to interrogate others or reads into things all the time may want to consider figuring out why they feel this way. Is it past insecurities? Is it something they're not getting from the relationship? Is there any solid ground to base these allegations on?

Sometimes, we do things out of protecting ourselves or in an attempt to get our needs met. However the outcome of not being honest with ourselves as to our behaviors is the amount of extra unnecessary work the partner brings into the relationship. This can eventually push the other person away.

If you or someone you know is in a situation like this, I'd love to hear about it.

Being honest with ones self as to their part in the situation is important. Is it their paranoia and past experiences? OR Is it that they are in the wrong relationship?

I don't think anyone needs to live in a world where they are not trusted. At some point, perhaps going to see a couples counsellor might serve both people well.

It can't hurt to try and work these things out. In this way the relationship can grow through trust and communication. Not be wrought with insecurities and consistently proving ones self to another.