Youth Doesn't Have to be Wasted on the Young

Is Youth Wasted on the Young?
I have a young man, who lives a few towns away from me, oddly enough, that I met on my Xanga site blog. He's basically a good kid, heading in the wrong direction. So today, I wrote what I am going to paste here below ... Remember when you were young and confused? Or did you know who you were back then?

Heck do you know who you are today? And do you feel free to be that person? What's my point?

You have choices, you have choices every day no matter what age you are, no matter who you live with, deal with, etc., YOU have choices.

So without further commercial interuption, I'll share a little more about myself here for you as I have for this young fella over there.

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This entry is for my buddy Chris here on Xanga. You know who you are :)

Little man (and I mean that in a good way because your young and still have time to do better things with your life and you're on your way to being a big man so... you know... )

I know we all want to fit in "some where" in life. When I go to your site, it makes me sad. You listen to music that over time pulls your heart out and maybe you are that sad ... you don't have to be. I like Nickleback and whose that group? Corn? LOL I don't remember but I like that kind of music to, I'll work out to it sometimes because it pumps me up. That and Hip Hop music, s'cool! :)

If you ever want to talk and you feel stuck between your parents, you can come here and write to me. That'll be fine and I'll do my best. Don't forget though, If I don't respond right away, it means I didn't get the notice yet ok? Ok.

I'm not sure how old you are, I'm guessing 16? Hey which principal died? Mr. Bloom? Was that who? He was my principal if that's who you're talking about. You go to Hackensack High School? :) I graduated from there in 1984 ... Man that was a long time ago. And I tell you something else, all the problems I had that to me, much like you now, were so real and so painful? They're all gone.

I'll tell you a story of my own, so you know I understand some of what you're going through ok? It's a little different than yours but you'll see what I mean, you're smart.

When I was 12 my mom was killed in a car crash; after that we didn't see people much anymore. My brother and sister who were always in trouble moved out, they were alot older than me and I was left basically to deal with all those emotions on my own. My Dad did the best he could but he started dating and I was left alone even more. I had friends, like you, to talk to but what did we know back then, we just knew we were hurting but nobody told us what to do about it.

I wasn't "allowed" to date until I was about 16 1/2 or 17 I forget exactly. But there was this one boy, Eddie who I had a big crush on. We used to hang out and he'd drive me home and drop me off a block from my house so I wouldn't get into trouble. Well, we broke up cuz I wasn't allowed to date and he wanted to see me more than I was able. Man I was soooo hurt! What's this got to do with you? The first week, my Dad had alot of whiskey and liquor in the closet in the living room. So that first day, I had a few shots and I had a nice buzz all day long. Forgot about all my problems. It wore off before he got home so that was cool right? Next day, same thing. I thought, this was cool! I don't have to feel bad! I can just feel numb. Well I did this all week. Then Saturday came. And man was I hurtin ... emotionally, I was depressed and sad and everything, see nobody told me it was ok to be so upset and I didn't really have anyone to talk to because I wasn't supposed to be seeing anyone in the first place. That was rough.

So Saturday came, and I'm thinkin, how am I going to drink today? I don't wanna feel like this! (all the hurt I was feeling, you know what I'm sayin...) and out of no where my mind said, you want to drink because some "boy" upset you? That's not a good enough reason.

I realized I felt "worse" after I came down than I did if I just cried. Yah maybe you think boys don't cry but you're human just like me and boys do cry. So that was the end of me doing that, sure I partied with my friends that's what some kids do.

What am I saying? Have you figured it out yet? You have a choice Chris, you can hang with the pot heads and kids who drink, or you can get involved in something else at school. A sport, I was in Chorus but LOL I don't think you'll go for that :) There are all kinds of things you can be doing.

I know you want to fit in, and have a place to go and you know what? Everybody's always going to have something to say about what you're doin, and where you're going, BUT you decide what's best for yourself. After high school is over, you'll lose touch with alot of people. It just happens that way.

What I want to know is "who" you are going to be when that happens. Hell, even grown-ups are still trying to figure that one out. You know what? You're lucky, you can start NOW! I wish when I was your age that I had someone who I could talk to about how I felt. It just didn't exist. You can change anything you want to. First you have to change yourself.

That doesn't make much sense does it? What do you think it means?

So I'm telling you some of my story, to let you know that I understand how you feel. If you look at what I'm doing today, I made better choices... and here I am.

What do want Chris? Tell me and I'll talk to you about it ok? :)

Now, for those of you who read this, I expect you to respect what he's going through and to be supportive. We ALL have life stories and we can either continue making bad choices and walking around not knowing it, or we can come to a point in our lives where we know we can make our life better.

So, what about you? What are you going to do?

XO Sue T.