How we perceive others and their behavior does make a difference.

So what do you do when something someone else does rubs you the wrong way? Do you talk about it to get it off your chest and then to get a better understanding of it, or in some cases do you recognize that everyone simply is not like you and let it roll off? That is providing it isn't affecting you directly. In other words, interfering directly with you or your goals and/or life.

On one level I believe it is about our perceptions and how they affect us. Whether or not we would do things a certain way and have it be something to discuss with others. To see what others points of views are is and can be important in the sense where if something bothers us on a level that has us talking about it then perhaps it is something that bothers us because it is simply not our style.

I've met people in the field of law who were clients who I had a perception about the way they did things as well and I've found that while they were going about their life, doing whatever it was that they were doing I was feeling drained from just being around them. Particularly divorce matters.

However it affected me, was my problem, it was something that I either strongly disagreed with or it rubbed me the wrong way.


If something another individual does prompts us to discuss it, it's usually an indication that we either need to learn more about what is going on because it has touched us the wrong way. These perceptions are all about you the individual.

We all have different perceptions of how we would present ourselves to others, how we would handle certain life issues and certainly how we would respond to different situations.

What's this all about anyway? It's about how you the individual perceive any given individual wihch prompts you to talk about it or that strikes a nerve. It can be used as an opportunity to grow as an individual, learn new things or ways to do things, or recognize that we have some hidden emotion or insecurity in regard to what we are seeing.

The idea is to learn more about how to accept one another and our differences with out feeling the need to judge. We all have things that we do which others may not agree with and the same goes for what others do as well.

Whenever something strikes a nerve for you, there is always more under the surface of any given topic if it bothers us. It happens. How we react to it makes a difference.

So how would we handle some thing like this?

1. Ask yourself why you don't like it.

2. Think about what this persons behavior has to do with you on a personal level. It could be something "as simple" as you would never do that. So really just let it go.

3. What is it about that person "honestly" that annoys you?

4. Is it something that you feel, as an individual you are lacking or would like to improve in yourself? Perhaps you feel self conscious because they're doing it and you are not.

When you ask yourself these questions or talk to some one about it? Be honest with yourself and them. You may find that you still do not like what you've seen however it may be alot easier next time to reduce the effect someone elses behavior has on you.

And the ultimate place to be? Is to see something, recognize it's just not for you and let it roll off.


Sue Tosto
Life and Relationship Coach

Confidence is Silent. It doesn't defend itself.
It simply exists inside of you.

http://www.freewebs.com/dreamscape/index.html